It’s good to be back! It’s been a few months, and today I have a story to tell and some praises to shout related to my absence.
When we turned the page and entered 2018 (which seems like just yesterday in some ways, yeah?) I had many high hopes. I was excited about this blog, expectant about graduation and starting a career, and looking forward to some big changes.
Before too long, I got scared.
Beginning in the early spring, I started to become extremely anxious. Those of you who struggle with anxious thoughts and fear can probably relate: I was overthinking everything I said or did, exhausted all the time, and feeling ultra sensitive. And it’s hard to write or share much when you believe the lie that no one cares what you have to say. I took a break from social media for the entire month of March to give myself the space to rest.
From there, time went on and graduation quickly approached. At this point, I wasn’t feeling very inspired. Between fear of my words being rejected and being busy with finishing school, my writing and creativity began to take a back seat.
My church generously created a summer internship position for me. I worked in the church office and assisted in counseling sessions. I loved every single second and learned heaps. The sweet people supervising me became incredible mentors who encouraged me so well.
And it was in one of my last meetings with a mentor that it was as though God held my chin in His hand and spoke truth over my fear. Here’s where we get to the “one conversation” mentioned in the title.
In this meeting, I shared that I was a little unsure of what to do once my internship ended. I felt like my gifts and callings had become even more clear over the course of the summer, but my next steps weren’t tangible. I wanted career and education moves or some other professional insight.
I had mentioned my writing maybe twice before this point, and I wasn’t even thinking about it as I talked with my mentor. BUT GOD.
My mentor looked at me and said: “I haven’t read your writing, but I know you have a blog and have a feeling you’re a great writer. You should continue to write.”
I sat dumbfounded.
“People who succeed often look back on their earlier years and remember a person who told them to go for it. Today is the day–I want you to take note. I am that person.”
He went on to speak huge things over my life. Dreams I can’t even share here because they still feel too precious and fragile and I think if they come out of my own mouth they’ll break.
Anyways. I’m fired up, friends. I’m here, I’m obedient, and I’m terrified.
But I’m mostly affirmed. God didn’t have to give me such a sweet moment, but He did. He doesn’t have to use me for His glory, but He is. And I want to step into what He’s called me to.
In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.
Matthew 5:16 (ESV)
You could be either person in this conversation. You might be a little lost and wondering about your calling. I’m here to say that God is faithful in revealing what you can do for His glory. Ask Him to show these things to you and trust Him! It might not happen on your timeline, but He will answer. I have full confidence.
And if you see others in your life who have a clear gifting, tell them! Be the person who gives them the push to step into what God has for them. Your words have power, truly.
Thanks for being patient with me as I grow. If you want to help me out, let me know in the comments what you’d like to read about next! I’d like to start writing more often and would love to know what you all enjoy.